25 Inspirational Funny Quotes

25 Inspirational Funny Quotes

- in Inspirational Quotes

1. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

2. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

3. “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

4. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

5. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

6. “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

7. “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”

8. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

9. “At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”

10. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”

11. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

12. “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.”

13. “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”

14. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

15. “Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”

16. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

17. “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

18. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

19. “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

20. “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”

21. “Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”

22. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

23. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

24. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

25. “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

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