25 Inspirational Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

25 Inspirational Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

- in Inspirational Quotes

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, writer and producer. He is best known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

Inspirational Jerry Seinfeld Quotes:


1.“I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”  Jerry Seinfeld


2.Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.” Jerry Seinfeld


3.“People don’t turn down money! It’s what separates us from the animals.” Jerry Seinfeld


4.“All of a sudden it hit me, I realised what the problem is: I can’t be with someone like me. I hate myself! If anything, I need to get the exact opposite of me. It’s too much. It’s too much, I can’t take it. I can’t take it…” Jerry Seinfeld

5.”It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper”. Jerry Seinfeld


6.” If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? “Jerry Seinfeld


7.”We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup”. Jerry Seinfeld


8.”Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success”. Jerry Seinfeld


9.”My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law”. Jerry Seinfeld

10.”Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic – you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner”. Jerry Seinfeld


11.”A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it”. Jerry Seinfeld


12.”Make no mistake about why these babies are here – they are here to replace us”. Jerry Seinfeld


13.”That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me”. Jerry Seinfeld


14.”You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out”. Jerry Seinfeld

15.”Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome”. Jerry Seinfeld


16.”Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry”.  Jerry Seinfeld


17.”I’ll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? …And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think ‘those kids’ll be alright”. Jerry Seinfeld


18.”I am so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything which as you know, always leads to something cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything”. Jerry Seinfeld


19.”You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out”. Jerry Seinfeld

20.”There’s nothing more fun than entertaining kids”. Jerry Seinfeld


21.”Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one’s really sure how to do it”. Jerry Seinfeld


22.”Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box”. Jerry Seinfeld


23.”Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive”. Jerry Seinfeld


24.”There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself”.  Jerry Seinfeld

25.”A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking”. Jerry Seinfeld

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